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photoWriting this book I have learned to be true to myself and trust that I will not regret the chances I take for my reputation among my family members or anyone else or [my] thoughts of my father’s blues…world. To follow my heart’s desire…I turned away to make a clean sweep [of] everything I held inside of me.

There was hardship from not being [accepted] in the ghetto community by some neighbors, peers and so-called friends. [It was an experience] growing up in the ghetto, with a mother with white skin, and a black father that came to Chicago from Louisiana to explore, find his destiny, and shape his era of music that was so deeply inside him. Sitting here frozen in the same place knowing this, is a challenge I must face. Venturing into territory that was way too sensitive, [I am sharing] possessions like the Love and guidance of my parents [that I knew] best. Life paths and soul direction [is a process I trust] now. I know [that the] time of separation from social situations and events…were probably necessary in my life, maybe I wouldn’t be right here this moment if these things had not occurred.

Born a mixed kid, not being [accepted] on both sides of the fence of color, keeping the smile on my face also hid inner turmoil most my life. My thoughts were, “How could the world be so cruel and unscrupulous?” In addition to unstable growth, there was badness at a point of my life growing up from uninvited events. I just wanted attention and protection from both my parents. Deep beyond my smile was a small frail soul that was really in pain.

Today, I am empowered by my conscience and my gift is forgiveness of evidently [seeped] into [my] character. My values that were taught by my mom and dad no matter what they were going through or facing, it [was] all to give my siblings and I asset[s] and…personal validation [in] being children of a blues legend. Which is why after passing forty-something, I’m responsible for my own fate. I released [myself from] the rut of so many regrets and fears of yesterday and I made room for pleasure, beauty and hope.

Thank goodness for the liberation of free will and I trust that denial can’t hide truth forever. Justification is part of my virtue, [and] letting go of despair. I choose to make peace with myself and protect my emotional vulnerabilities. I never knew i could do it myself until I tried. My hope and faith recommend my course. [It involves putting into this book all my] unwritten conclusions [from]…unguarded depths of experience.

During the process of writing my book it was a hard and long journey recognizing that I came face to face with my fears, conquering my demons. I felt God sat me down to finish what I started years ago. That is when I realized he had full control over this project and he intended on [my] finishing [it]. I knew it was him. And I thank you, God. – Denise L. Baker